Tom Bowman of the Tom Bradley Show – Podcast Live from Truman’s Bar and Grill

You Whether we like it or not, he's the self-proclaimed governor of mid-missouri and he's the host of TTBS the podcast Since we can't shut him the hell up. Here's Tom Bradley Nikki got him bringing us in. Thank you. Nick. I appreciate that as we are live with our podcast from Truman's Bar and Grill and Man, they take such great care of us over here, Deb I don't know if what did you get chocolate milk this morning? I did need my calcium. I suppose. Oh, is that what it is? Well now you're going on a path. I wasn't gonna talk about today. I won't I won't bring that up I want everyone to know that not only is dynamite Deb the wonderful bride of my life. She is sidekicking today and You're handling the video switching. Yes, because last week it was too much on me because you were in charge of it And we're too busy. Just Are you are you saying that I'm too focused on you in my life? I think that's I think that's what I what I heard, but you're in charge of the switching now Yes, so you can do whatever you'd like with that. Yeah, you got the chocolate milk I got some coffee going over here. Our guest this morning is What a weird thing to call him a guest I don't know that he's ever been a But I have to ask him if he's ever in a guest before on this show and that's Tom Bowman big gender from the Tom Bradley show you would know him as and I Just are you back on this now since I'm over here talking are you on me? No, I'm all of us. We'll go go on to one go. Okay. There you go. Now. You're doing a great job Thank you very much. You said it's it's all about me. So it's got to be that way I don't know that Tom Bowman has ever been a guest on the show before and But he's been on the show a thousand times and the two of us did a podcast together as well for a year And so but and I don't know if that feels weird for him. It feels a little it feels weird enough to me I did not want him to sit in today as both the sidekick and the guest it wouldn't make any sense All right, and so so he's hanging out in the wings right now he's got the mic with him and he's got the camera on him, but We're gonna take care of a little business first But then we're gonna get into a discussion with Tom about his life and about some surprises that he's had in his life and it's really less about Tom and it's more about what all of us go through and Are you fixing the camera shot over here? It's just you. Oh you get to see my neck My next looking really good on a podcast. Yeah, that's me. We're gonna bring it up a little bit. How's that a little better? Hopefully that's better And we talked about a we talked about what would you call a confident monitor? We'll work on that as well So one of the things we started I got to get some housekeeping notes out of the way and one of the things we started This morning for the first time is we're live on Facebook with this stream of the video and the audio and we're live Simultaneously on YouTube with the audio and the video Both of these will be left as archives One on Facebook will only last for 30 days and then Facebook will delete that and they started that back in February YouTube will stick around till we no longer have YouTube in the Internet So I guess that's gonna be around for a long time as my guess. So that's the new thing there Now we'll still have reminders coming up on Instagram and then we'll have the audio available on all your podcast Platforms out there starting with Spotify and ending with tune-in. So that's that's important We need to make sure we've got that ready to go any other housekeeping notes over here to do. Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah last week. I messed up our website. It's TTBS dot show If you want brevity if not, we're still on the same URL the same domain of the Tom Bradley show comms you can go either way on that and Have a pretty good idea of what you are dealing with now. We get to our chance to make a couple of announcements It was only gonna be one and it's really a fun announcement involving you and I and next week but and I'm gonna say that it's unfortunate, but we have actually two announcements this week All right, releasing the hounds and our special announcements brought to you by Creekside Pet Center Creekside Pet Center and Creekside's bed and biscuit and Dirty Harry's in Boonville They love animals. They take care of your pets Even better than you would I'm not gonna say your pets love Creekside more than your pets. Love you I'm not gonna go there but I will tell you that they love your pets almost as much as you do at Creekside Pet Center Dirty Harry's in Boonville and Bed and biscuit just off I-70 in Columbia And and I think they'll be growing eventually too and people like you got to be kidding now They will eventually the first announcement is a tough one ace Has crossed it would be called the Rainbow Bridge. Is that you're saying? Yes, and Ace is one of the many dogs at the Brummett's Farmstead that's what I call what where they are with Jacob and Amanda and their wonderful daughters Bindi and Harper and All those dogs and ace is not just was not just a wonderful dog to the family But it's the community and ace was a model. He's he's a model dog He is the model that was used for the logo for Creekside Pet Center, and he's passed on I'm sorry to I'm sorry to say that did you that's really sad. Yeah, I've met him a couple times I Think about the family this morning, and I'm sorry about you guys what you're going through I asked Jacob recently because you have so many animals were you part of this conversation when I asked about that I said Because you have so many animals is it easier for you or weirder or when you lose one because they had just lost a cat How old was their cat? 22 24 Ace was 12 okay, you asked and found out 12 years old and He said no it still hurts. It's different because you have some you keep moving on but I There's such animal lovers. It's got to really hit him hit him strong so ace Thank you for your service to the family and to the little girls that they had ace when they were still living in California before They came back out to Missouri and before they started Creekside Pet Center So he's been with through a lot with them, and so thank you the other announcement is for next week We will have a podcast TTBS the podcast, but we'll be in st. John now I want you to go to your camera at this time, please and let's make sure that your cameras looking good It's not looking bad at all, and I want you to explain to me exactly why we are going to st. John Well It's a bunch of friends From high school and their friends in st. Louis and The Johnny Henry band yeah, Johnny's played our area a lot of time, Nashville Vegas, Missouri beer festivals I Out at Hotel Frederick in Booneville He's all over and out at the lake every year all throughout the summer as well And it's great to have a chance to to catch in all these places But every year or every other year he goes down to st. John and he plays for like five or six nights or something and these guys have been going down there Every other year and you and I've talked about it We've never joined in and made the trip and so we're gonna do it now, so you're my travel agent You're in charge of everything right? Yeah It's been different for sure You even bought me luggage. We were we're only days away from leaving for st. John and I'm like I never even thought about oh crap. I need some sort of a suitcase or some odd that or have the bright purple I could I could use purple, but you got me black and black shows no fear And I will have no fear flying to st. John. It's gonna be a great time We will do a podcast next week on the beach It'll be you and I but I'm guessing we're gonna have some guests joining us Maybe some from high school if you want we can have them try to tell tales about me in high school If it makes everybody feel better, and they can spill the stories. I don't even know if there were any stories That are interesting. I'm not sure that will be awake at that time in the morning That's that's true. They are a late crowd for sure yeah later than me I might stay up till 10 in st. John. We'll see we'll see Tom Bowman just about lost his coffee just now Through his nose it is time for us to bring on Tom Bowman And I thank you Creekside by the way for helping us with our announcements this morning And as we bring on our guests this morning and the guest bed I mentioned this last week how interesting it is that I stole this from my own compositions from my own recordings Because I needed music to bring on the guests And I stole this from Tom's world beer tour the podcast that we did ladies and gentlemen please welcome to TTBS the podcast Tom Bowman otherwise known as big gender. How are you good more Ning? Yeah? There you go? This is lovely is a nice little setup. You got going on you like this over here ignore that don't worry about that Oh, yeah, nothing goes It goes in and out it goes in and out on all things are things are lovely I'm admiring this setup. We did do the podcast here once that that table over there I think it was the first time we were gonna go live live And then we decided from there that at the time wasn't working well, so we did not go live live anymore No, it's it worked up. It worked out in the end. It's been great best all for the best Thank you for being here this morning. It is it is a little strange to bring you on as a guest We've never done that before you've been on the show many many times I used to tell people that I was the fourth Beatle of the Tom Bradley show something like that you You for those who don't know there was a fifth Beatle. I don't know that we're gonna go there No, he played piano by the way. Yeah, wonderful talented man. Yeah, I I hope you don't mind me Asking you to be on the show to talk about your life, so I'm gonna start with that first. Do you mind it? I mean, I know you're here, but is it weird no I actually talked to my mom last night and told her I said you know I've told this story that I'm gonna talk about tomorrow Before she goes you have I go. I told it on show. I think I told it on the podcast It's been six years now that This the development of knowing all this information I think one of the things about the podcast that is different than those other two venues is that we get a chance to really Go into detail and and except for keeping it under 60 minutes. We don't have a whole lot in the way here We get to talk and go through this the reason I wanted you to talk about is because so many people bitch and gripe and whine And cry about things going on in their life when the reality is Everybody has stuff going on in their life and some of it's really really incredible And we don't give we don't give it its due and some of it can be really really harsh and usually we focus on that And it's like oh, this is terrible. It's terrible. I get it. We all do that. I do it all the time But for us to take a moment look at somebody else's life typically to feel some empathy Towards someone else it changes our perspective on ourselves and everything around us and and that's why to give you an example Yeah, very yesterday I reached out to someone a woman that we were talking about that Suffered a heart attack and it's now posted on social media about this and I reached out to her. She's a great storyteller She spent her life and continues to tell stories very very well, and I reached out to her last night I said would you join me in the podcast we haven't decided if she will and if so when But she suffered a heart attack and she's a person you would never go Well, there's a walking heart attack there, right? And so I'd like her to come on to talk about it because I want us to know what other people are going through and To understand it. So let's start off with you. Do you think your life has been squirrely enough? Interesting and a unique enough to sit here and talk about it. I mean, yeah, I think so, I mean I My personal life and my professional life have both not been a pretty have not been a normal path You know, I get people all the time on the broadcast side going. Hey, man I want to follow where you got to how you got there. How could I do that? I go you can't Know it doesn't it would be impossible to recreate it was you know Circumstances knowing you're in the right place at the right time putting in lots of hours You know taking chances based on your gut things like that There is no roadmap to get to where I am on the professional side and of course there was no roadmap to get to where I am on the personal side at 56 years old because I Had nothing to do with it for the first You know, let's call it 18 years Yeah, that may be that may be true a lot to do with it afterward And as you learn as you learn more about your life and some people throw some surprises at you Then it's how you handle those and that's and that's the man you are. I mean, I think you handle them in an amazingly strong Confident and let's move forward way. Let's go through just a little superficially your professional life Sure, and then we'll get into the personal life. You're from California. We're in California, California Halfway between Sacramento and San Francisco a place called Vacaville, which translates to cow town You know that I want to call it Vacaville. You can call it California would be like you stupid Technically Vaca the law school because it's you know, Vaca Cal ville town Vacaville. Okay, but it's it's on What we would call the 80 Damn, California interstate 80 runs east west Through Northern California and you could go from San Francisco on the west coast up through To Sacramento and up to Lake Tahoe and all that and I was smack dab in the middle place called Vacaville, which was really The burbs, I mean we I was in the East what they call the East Bay just outside of the San Francisco Bay Area until about third grade and then my dad who worked as a military civilian on a naval air base we Moved to the burbs. We moved half an hour away to a one of those master plan Communities where you go in they have four model homes and you walk through them and then you go into the Main model home in the garage where they have the plots and they go we're gonna build this model house here here and here and Here we were buying a brand new house and a brand new community and and it was third grade for you I was summer before third grade and you were aware enough to know what it was like and what was going on He said your dad was With the military but a civilian. Well, he was in the Navy during Vietnam and then he became a postman afterward so I knew him as a postman up until About second grade and then all of my family worked at a place called Mare Island, which was a naval air base It's still there. It's now a land of craft beers and whiskey distilleries and all sorts of really cool stuff You should it's fantastic and and then like most of my family on that side They all work there as civilians and so his brother and my grandfather they all worked there And so he got on it was kind of the family business, which is where I sort of thought I was gonna end up But you didn't you wound up being in radio somehow your first ab Actual full-time radio job was where in Sacramento on a station called quad 106.5 kwod 50,000 watt non-directional blowtorch. Yeah, and It was an alternative rock station in the mid 90s And I literally was I was delivering bottled water for a job at the time. It was great I was lugging seven gallon bottles of water over my shoulder and knocking on doors of Stay at home people who were like, oh, come on in with your bottle. It sounds like a weird setup, right? Oh, yeah, so And I I listened to this radio station and the guy that had that was on middays Alex They had this volleyball tournament every year and I really wanted to play in it So I managed to get through on the phone. I said, hey, listen, man I work for this company Crystal Mountain Springwater if I can get my company to donate bottled water Would you pick me for your team? You know, you were already learning how to barter and how to whore things out. Absolutely And that's how we met and then I went back to him afterwards and I said, hey, do you have any sales jobs and he goes I don't know. Well, let me think about it in a few weeks later. He called me back. He goes. Hey, man Hey, man, you want to be on the air? You know, that's backwards almost everybody who will ever want to be on the airs go Yeah, maybe watch come in and start selling for us. Yeah. No, he said you want to be on the air? So I did I did Friday night Overnight in the Saturday Saturday nights in the Sunday for the first few months. Yeah, and then luckily And I had this other on microphone job Four nights a week prior to that that have slipped out on different shows Just know that I was I was also doing marketing back then too. Yeah You're marketing dollar bills from the gentleman toward the ladies. Well, then I was I was asked Hey that the overnight guy Jamie is is leaving. Would you would you like that job? And I took a substantial But this was this was still in California. This is Sacramento. When did you wind up in Vegas? That's way so real quick it was Sacramento 95 to 97 ended up in Los Angeles at extra sports because I wanted to go to An alternative radio station that they owned in San Diego and when I showed up they said you seem to know what's going on We're gonna make you the executive producer of the sports station and I just said, okay great and I did it So I went from being on air to being off air and running the day-to-day operations of a sports station met a guy named Scott Farrell who I'd listened to as a kid not a kid, but in my teens and He was doing a show in Westwood one nationally and we were running it on our station and I was consulting that show and then He decided he wanted to call hockey That was his dream And so he got hired on to be the first play-by-play guy for the Atlanta thrashers in Atlanta So I went to Atlanta with Scotty because we also did a Friday night only version of his national show Wow, so I produced that and Consulted the hockey and then we got fired after the first year because he was really honest And so like they would have a bad loss. He's like, well, I guess the team really choked ass tonight You know, they don't like that. They didn't even say that on radio back No and so we Then we got offers to go to Minnesota to Minneapolis to k-fan to do mornings and then other places and he lived at Huntington Beach And we cut a deal with sports fan radio. And so I moved to Vegas and I worked out of the Mandalay Bay Sportsbook There's a studio you guys were doing it was in the afternoons 7 to 10 at night So you would go in late afternoon early evening and start getting ready and then 7 to 10 You'd be in the sport book We would show live from 7 to 10, which is right by the House of Blues. And so we would get Scotty's show was always Different we played music underneath the show the whole time right Metallica and great right music the whole time there was this music but no one had ever done it before and Because we were near the House of Blues and we knew those the people that ran that really well We could coordinate with people that would come on the show like Chad from the Red Hot Chili Peppers was a fan of the show And so if they were in doing a show We could have chat on the show at 7 10 if I brought that up I'd be like name-dropping you say it and it really sounds like you guys hung out fish together partied together I don't know what you did a very weird very weird life But that's if it stopped right there a professional career stopped right there people like that was really something before you started selling insurance You're like, yeah, I did the whole thing, but you went on from there to wind I went back to Los Angeles when they started Fox Sports Radio National Uh-huh, and I produced shows there and then got a phone call from somebody I knew that said hey, we just got the rights to the Dodgers away from KBC this legendary station Would you come and produce the Dodgers for us because I had done it before at the other sports, right? And I said what else do I have to do? They said nothing just produce the Dodgers I said Vince Culley is the voice of the Dodgers at the time Vince Culley was the voice of the Dodgers Rick Monday was there still a close friend of mine And I wouldn't did that and how many years were you working then that run was Dodgers? That was my second run. So that would have been Oh Oh three Oh four Oh five Oh six. Uh-huh. And then in oh six I got a call from a company called Learfield in the Midwest and I my contract had run out with the radio station And so I was kind of a free agent and on and truth be told did you know where the hell? Have you ever even heard of Jefferson City, Missouri? No, because when Aaron Worsham who was my boss for a long time for the first 15 years He called me and he said hey, we really talked about this job. We have and I said great Where are you? He goes Jeff City, Missouri. I went great. Where's that? He was the capital of Missouri. I went great. Where's that? I was I was told by a consultant years ago because I was gonna be out of a job in two weeks and He said all right. I want you to write down. There's a job opening. I think you'd be great for it I said, okay at the time I was in Columbia and he goes, okay, the guy you're gonna talk to is John I go, uh-huh zimmer. Okay, great, right Almost a second time. It's put up my coffee. He's in he's in the Cape. All right, okay Cape Cod Cape Canaveral. Yeah anywhere but not effing where you're talking. He goes Cape Girardeau I stopped my pen stopped and I go I go. I'm sorry what he goes Cape Girardeau Mike It wasn't there wasn't even it wasn't like there was Google wasn't Google Maps in either. There was no Google. There was no Personal laptops you might have had a Thomas guide But it had to be specific for that city Had you heard of Learfield at the time because when I was at sports fan producing national sports talk radio During the Bobby Knight era of throwing chairs and choking athletes Yeah We wanted Don Fisher the legendary voice of the Hoosiers gotcha because Scotty Farrell people don't realize this went to Indiana on a tennis scholarship And so he went to school at Indiana So he knew all about Don Fisher and all these guys so my job was to book guests So if you wanted to talk about a coach, you're not getting anybody from athletics and all that. They don't talk Broadcasters depending on who they are will so I well we have egos correct And we can't wait to get on another show correct and do especially if we don't have any obligations and Responsibilities like to rob him so I called athletics and I said I'd really like to book Don Fisher and they said well We don't control that the company called Learfield does you're gonna have to call this guy Keith Sampson Fast forward Keith Sampson became was my executive producer. So I came in and he was my executive producer Yeah, and so anyways, that's so I knew of Learfield to some degree and and being the ass that I am. I When Aaron called me the first thing I said now mind you I'm in Southern, California and the way it worked in baseball is I Anything that I needed to get done for the house had to get done before February before I went to spring training in Florida and wouldn't get done until I got back Hopefully in mid-october a lot of times at the end of September And so we had put in hardwood floors in this townhouse that we had in Southern, California and done all this work But we didn't have any trim molding. No baseboards. So I'm in the garage painting baseboards And Aaron and so the one thing Aaron said is, you know, we'd like to talk to you about this job And I said great. Do I have to be there to do the job? Could I do it from out? Which by the way today would be today would but but then 18 years ago and he goes no we'd really like to have you here and I said great and so they flew me out with Samantha and You know, it all sort of worked and the best part is here's the here's the credit that I'll give Learfield This was 18 years ago They matched The money I was making in LA That's they really want LA money spends very very slowly in Missouri and a 1,200 square foot townhouse that I bought You know right before the market crash is when I sold it. I sold it two days before Christmas in 2006 Wow I was on an interest-only Blah blah blah stated income loan. Oh, yes, please coffee. Yes coffee. Yes, I need that Anyway, so it just kind of worked out perfectly Showed up we had 22 schools that we oversaw 22 at the time. How many schools now is Learfield my day-to-day over? see now is 150 something 150 stuff 200 versus that we deal with and we have lots of different, you know We have a ticketing company and we have a licensing company and you know, we're big on NIL last year. We helped schools Fund a hundred and forty million dollars of NIL money to student-athletes Wow So, I mean it's changed dramatically in the 18 years that I've been there we used to be at least 60% of the revenue now, I'm probably 30% of the revenue Unbelievable growth really really something. So see if all we did was talk about your professional life. It's it's really Not even the side hustle The wise Caldwell distillery stuff that I'm doing now is telling Deb I'm now gonna host things called from the vineyard with Caldwell vineyard most legendary winemakers weird crap going on and you have a bourbon finders, what is that Missouri the Missouri bourbon enthusiasts on Facebook and how many followers or 580-500 that are in the surrounding five states of and they ship a nice bourbon They're posting on it if they want to ask each other Where'd you find that all this stuff 8,500 just in Missouri that are following we do that and then there's sub ones You know, there's a Boone County one that I'm part of there's a you know, Columbia one There's a VU one specifically for Veterans United has their own and I'm part of that one as well If that was it on this discussion, we could we could still talk about this thing for quite a while Yeah, before we go for any further is Bobby Joe with us this morning listening out in, California Not live because it is 6 30 in the morning and my beer and in her 70s My mom has now become a teenager. So she is up at 2 a.m. And 3 a.m. And then sleep still 10 a.m She's got a good life if that's what I'm looking forward to finally, I will get some I don't know how We the stupidest thing I've done in the last five years by the way is put a beautiful mature river birch tree Next to my bedroom window. What's wrong with that? Because any glimpse of sunlight wakes up the birds That inhabit said tree So it's 530 in the morning like it or not. I'm up. Well 530 if I could sleep until 530 I'd be such a happy man. I Asked if Bobby Joe is is listening right now. I'm sure she'll be listening then She will be here in late August for six weeks Well, I'm gonna say good morning to her to watch the Beast soon-to-be freshman football player. You've already Mentioned her earlier this morning. So I want to I want to ask you first of all in your life you your your father Passed away when you were what 16 20 20. Yeah father passed away when you were 20 parents were still together Oh, yeah, my mom was a stay-at-home mom. He was a civilian contractor Bobby Joe and what is your dad's name Dennis? What was your dad's name Dennis Jenny? Everybody called him and so he you know, he went to work a lot of times He was working swing shift. So he's working at 4 p.m. To midnight because there was extra money there We didn't realize that we were Not even really middle class I wouldn't say lower middle class we were pretty middle class I mean But my sister and I didn't want for anything. I mean my mom was a stay-at-home mom Mm-hmm. I would come home to the smell of mr. Clean because my mom had cleaned the house that morning We had a living room. You weren't allowed to sit in You know that kind of stuff typical great I was in a little master plan community and there was two master plan communities and there was a Public park in between them. So that's where we would all gather I played basketball and baseball and you know tackle football without pads depending on what time of year was some of the pieces of your Life, I don't have notes on so I'm just gonna be throwing out some questions Sure, and I don't want it I don't want to jump in front of the card over here, but I want to throw out some questions and understand your parents Denny and Bobby Joe they were Biological parents to you know as you were growing up. No, they're not my biological parents. They're my adopted parents Adopted parents you were adopted at what age That's where it gets tricky, right That's why I was a tricky because I want to ask you when you when you were growing up You what did you believe life was when you're growing up? Why I knew I was adopted After the age of six because they were getting ready to adopt my sister and So my sister and I are seven years apart. So just before my seventh birthday. My sister was born January 1st 1976 so she's a Bicentennial, baby. She was actually the first one in our County I think she's got a certificate that she was the first born and you know Which I have to remind her next year that she will be 50 so She's fighting it all the way. That's great. But at the end of the day my mom sat down with me and This will sound really douchey But I was this little Walking encyclopedia kid. Mm-hmm. I had answers for everything in second grade I was going to fifth grade classes for math and all sorts of it's just it's not a good way to grow up and try to have friends because My mom you'll I'll show you pictures on there. My mom would send me to school in little black dress shoes and it it was bad until I got to About sixth grade then she finally realized. Oh this probably needs to change. What do you what do you want to wear? What do you want to do? So I I was a fairly Intelligent young kid and inquisitive and studied lots of stuff read a ton of books We're on a podcast. But Anyways, so she sat down with me and said I just want you to know and this is a story of adoption and great I didn't even think anything of it. It was like, you know, my mom's got brunette hair I have as aware as you were about a lot of things. It didn't bother you or anything else Okay, because my life was great I had a I had two parents that were married I lived in a four bedroom two bath house in the suburbs and Went to good schools and had good friends Did they tell you at that time because they were going to adopt another child sister? And so they figured they better let you know because mom would have been doing because where's the baby? Uh-huh. Mom's not pregnant, right? So where did this baby come from? And I'm too old to think of the bird brought it, right? So, yeah, so she sat down with me and had this conversation and I I don't remember it well I remember I remember where I was standing when she told me at this house, but I don't remember the full conversation But I've known Most of my life, I mean, I'm 56 years old I've known since I was you remember though the conversation when she told you yeah And I was fine with it and I didn't think about it and I'm going through your teens when we hit the adolescence You got puberty. I got zits. You're trying to date you're trying to figure I would get mad at my dad from time to time and you know gives me that that BS of you know Well, you know, you're not my blood My dad was tough. My dad my dad's from Detroit. Uh-huh. And even though I grew up in Northern, California that Detroit was there So if we played one-on-one basketball very competitive and he'd be pushing on me hard pushing on me hard pushing on me hard And then I finally as a team break and go this is stupid and get ready to swing on him He would do this weird like I don't know what this is when you take your hand This is how he would fight me because he knew it was like we're gonna speed bag kind of basically and I'm like Whatever, so we went through all that Yeah He passed he passed away when you were 20 years old. Yeah cancer. You were living there Yeah, I was not necessarily with him, but you were no. No, I I ironically I was in the Air Force Yeah, I got so Travis Air Force Base is right by where I grew up So when I went into the Air Force ironically, they sent me right back to Travis Which was a blessing and a curse, but I didn't you know have to travel the world necessarily to live Being at Travis. It was a gateway to lots of parts of the world. Yeah, I was gone a lot I mean I had spent you know, I was spent nine months during Desert Storm in Germany and in the desert I've been to Korea for 90 days at a time. I flew all over the place So I was in Korea Doing an exercise called team spirit where we work with the Southern Korean South Korean Army and they work their way up to the DMZ We established the airfield bring all the army troops in the Marine troops that are gonna work with them And you know, so I was literally in Korea when I got the phone call that said your dad's really sick He's going in the hospital. You need to come home And so they the Air Force immediately put me on a plane and sent me back Your sister was still in her teens. My sister would have been 13 13 how old was she when she found out she was adopted. I don't know. I've never had that question with her really She knows I don't know what what point because you told her one. Well, my sister was opening presents. My sister's The reason you only got two presents because you're adopted. That's right again So my sister's dirty blonde and so she doesn't look like my parents But I do and so I think there might have been questions at that point or whatever, but I don't know when So so you don't know when but and to be honest with you this story. I'm gonna tell you here soon She I don't we've never had that conversation. So I don't know that she's ever heard this story So she might she might be listening to this podcast and hear the story for the first time. Yeah then I want to ask you if I'm if it's time to go to the next because you it's not because we got 25 minutes your Mom got remarried so my dad passes when he's when I'm 20, I'm in the Air Force and which is weird because When desert storm hit and I was in Germany, that was a couple years later All of a sudden, you know, my mom is trying my mom goes to get a job at the mall She's working at a at a little kids store boutique, you know, she's that nice the time she was in her 40s It seems weird to think about that. But anyway, so she's got this part-time job and whatever and And she's sort of getting set up on little dates, you know just coffee dates or whatever and one of them was a pilot who Flew into Germany ironically and Heard that I was there and literally wanted to come say hi to me and I'm like this is how he's gonna get Bobby Joe is like working That's not gonna happen Wow and then and she gets a phone call and says I've met a really nice guy His daughter works with me at the at the store and I said great. What's his name? And she said Terry Hurst my jaw hit the ground because I went to high school with and graduated with Terry Hurst and His sister Dana was a year behind me Dana Hurst and I thought What is this not knowing that their father was also Terry Hurst and a retired Air Force guy Right, and so that's that's how they met and then they got married and it's been great You know and you're about you're about the same age then I was 24 when they started seeing each other my mother got remarried. I lost my dad when I was 16 She got remarried when I was in my early 20s 20 20 ish 21 and so It was very strange to have someone to call a stepfather Because I was still fairly young in my 20s and people thought that meant that I grew up with this guy or something like no So I called him my mom's husband for a long long Yeah, I did that too. And I you know, we called him Terry. I always called him Terry But you guys developed an incredible relationship Well, I mean at this point now I had my sister my sibling. I had two step-siblings who I knew I mean, I went to school with Terry. We didn't follow in the same circles, but we knew each other and Dana I knew because she was a year behind us So, I mean we had this you and your stepfather had had some things in common like motorcycle of motorcycles I was riding sport bikes when they got together and he was riding Harley was riding a Harley But you guys picked up my mom on their first date on Harley You could you could occasionally years from then you would borrow his bike when you go out to, California You referred to him as your dad to me forever and ever and ever. I never knew there had been a different dad before No, it got to a point where it I would call him Terry But I mean, but I would always refer to them as my parents and my dad because that's what he was Yeah, yeah, which I think is great Well, I think that's the beginning of watching you want to talk about someone who is Dealt some twists and turns and learning to work with it because you could have been like a lot of other people cold Standoffish to this guy. That's now, you know Yeah, I think in the first in the first year or so you you're you're tentative about things you're cordial Uh-huh, you know, he was an Air Force guy In fact, ironically when I was at Travis one of the first couple years I was at the base He was the highest ranking enlisted man at the time on base He was in charge. He was the the NCO in charge of all and listen, that's a big deal Yeah, and so I knew who he was. I didn't know him at the time when I was on base. I would have been Frightened to get a phone call that said you got to come see, you know, yeah, see, you know chief chief Hearst So so he and your mom develop a life together Yep, and for the sake of mentioning, by the way, he passed away in recent in recent in 2022 Is that right 22? Yeah 22. So just a just a number of 22 a few years ago. And so may he rest in peace But there was another twist that was coming years later that you would find out about. Yeah, so I tell me Well, he was still lying and he was still alive at the time. So he was part of that conversation So when I turned 50, I started thinking about my health so I'd always done I had done ancestry and 23 and me and you know, I've done those things to see what Curiosity sure. Sure. I wasn't upset and I I you know, I I wasn't upset that my mom wasn't my biological mother. I had the most Unbelievable child when I hear people complain about their childhoods or high school. I don't relate. I had the greatest time growing up. I Had fun in high school, these are stupid similarities that you and I yeah, I would go back and do it again I mean, I was a musician in high school. I played in you know, we had a really nice wind ensemble I was a trombone player. I was pretty darn good One of the best in the state at the time and I thought I was gonna go do that in college and then instead Got my high school girlfriend pregnant found out the week of graduation that we were gonna have kid and being stubborn So you'll say in the trombone? Yeah They said well you can't do this you guys are too young and I'm too stubborn to agree with them and I said no we're Gonna make this work. And so I Committed to the Air Force and there you go. So that's there's that whole part Yeah, there is and that's and that's a huge part of it too as you as you guys have Kids together and but your lives move in different directions. Yeah, we split when the Jackson or Jackson cheese Louise, where am I Jeff? That's right. Jeff. That's my that's Wait, Jeff Jeff was four and his brother Jeremy had just been born and we were living in Southern, California and I was working for this retail company and it just wasn't working and one day her parents showed up with a moving truck and and that was you know that you have great Relationship with with those kids and you have great with the kids. Yeah with their mother I don't know but with the kids you do and they both when they as each of them turned 18 It was fantastic and with and with your grandchildren and Jeff is here and Jeremy's in he's in he's in Texas, Texas It'll be up here soon. He'll be here soon. So so my oldest lives here with his three and Jeremy chew by marriage one by birth So you were looking into things like 23 and me and trying to see what your history of maybe there's some connections or whatever Did you decide to start looking what what happened here? So I said you wanted to look for your biological parents I I think there was questions and I didn't want to ask my mom about I don't want to hurt her feelings Because it wasn't about my upbringing it was just about curiosity and you know When you turn 50 you start thinking about blood pressure and health and I have no medical history because I'm adopted. I don't know So I asked her there's another part of the story of why I asked and I'm gonna leave that part off, but I Ended up asking my mom questions and she said I will answer any question you want Did you feel like that was? Telling in itself when she said that you're like, well, I guess I've got asked the right question Well, I guess something is in there. I think the reason she said that and she told me later is that I Think she was worried that she would lose our relationship that I was asking these questions because I didn't want I saw a post That you made with you and your mom and I was doing some surfing on social media earlier this week And you were like look you can call me a mama's boy and this and that and I love my mama And and I and I like hanging around her and stuff like that You guys had to relate the probably the best relationship you could possibly have to be asking a question like this Yeah, and so that's what we did. And so what I basically said in a nutshell I said, do you know who my birth parents are and she said yes, and I said Can you give me a name and she said yes, and so she gave me the name and I immediately went to Facebook and Here's this person and I said is this the person and she goes? Yes, and then I realized this person's in our family Your biological mom that could have been well, my biological could have been from anywhere in the world and could well My biological mother was not part of our family, but my biological father Was he was my mom's cousin? Your biological father is your mom's he is your mom's cousin. He's passed But yeah, you didn't know this. No, I knew did you and you knew him? I mean, I know him well, but I would go to that side of the family They were all in Northern, California like on Easter or July woman Do I thought was my mom my mom's mom who was my mom's mom? I called my grandmother cuz she was my grandmother, huh? And then I had a great aunt who was my grandmother's sister Uh-huh. Well in reality, my great aunt was my grandmother and my grandmother was my great aunt okay, now if Now, you know what you're what you're talking about. Why would I tell people is? Technically my mom is my second cousin, but not in a southern way I Have you ever tried to actually draw a family tree? I have I think I showed it to you one time We were sitting in the screen porch when I told you this story Years ago, and I think I tried sketching it out Because you were like, hold on. Hold on. You're very Tom Bradley. Hold on. Hold on You're you the woman that you believe to be your great aunt Was my grand is actually is actually your biological grandmother but also Conveniently the woman who was your adoptive grandmother. Yeah, right. Okay, my grandmother Yeah turns out to be a blood relative of yours Yeah, my mom is a blood relative you and your mom therefore is also what's funny is because she wasn't adopted Yeah, that's right of my family was another weird branch. I came in somewhere that side of my family a Little off if you will, there's they're just kind of you mean your side of the family. Well, here's what's funny I would tell my mom all the time growing up. Oh my god. Thank God I don't have that blood and she would just kind of chuckle to herself. I bet she did after with a story came out I went oh crap. I do have that Do you ever can you remember some moment where you said something like 14? I well, yeah, yeah, and then under yes, she's stirring Kraft macaroni and cheese on the stove Yes, because she's like, well, you know my mother so my mother's mother is her by is her biological mother and her biological father They split after my mom was born My mom's the oldest and they split and my mom was told that he was gone in this world And so she was raised by my great-grandmother Because my grandmother was trying to figure out life and then she met a nice guy who was my grandfather But that wasn't my mom's by me. You mean became your grandma. It was my mom. Yeah, my mom Was my mom's stepfather and my great-grandmother who was her biological grandmother who ran our family like Yeah, strong iron fist she she was from a iron an iron block Country, uh-huh, and she was she was mean she was loving but she was mean sure and So what ended up happening is my my biological father and my biological mother He's in Vietnam. He's in the Navy. She's at Patrick Air Force Base in Florida Gives birth to me She comes back to California to be close to family and then realized the two of them realized we're not ready to have a kid and So my great-grandmother Basically, this story as I know it it might be a little different Basically said we need someone to keep an eye on this child while we figure this out and my mother who was 19 at the time Stepped up and so she was really Taking care of me while they were figuring out what was gonna happen in the adoption now back then adoptions were very different the adoption agency the people that ran it were friends of our family and so I think it all got handled very differently than it would today and So what ended up happening is it was decided that my mother was going to adopt me and she was Married she was already married for a very short time and once once They legally adopted me. So there's birth certificate number two So I had the one when I was born and now I have a second birth certificate because my mom was married for a very brief time Once the adoption was finished That person was told in no uncertain terms. You're going to give up your rights to this child and we're never going to see you again Wow, I don't know him I have one picture I don't have no idea my mom we don't talk about it So now here's my mother because she doesn't want him in her life at all. I don't think even with us anymore I mean he needed to be gone. Let's just leave it at that. She needed to be gone. So now here's my mother She's 19. So you didn't know anything about that. No, I didn't know anything about that So this is part of the coming out at 50 and then My grandmother lived across the street from this really nice man named Ken Bowman my uncle I I'm trying to keep it all straight who? Introduces Denny Denny is his brother. There's a Kenny and a Denny as Kenny dating your grandma No No Kenny is married Ken is married and lives across the street with his his wife and his kids and he has a Middle, he has a younger brother. Who's the middle child? No, he's the youngest he's the younger and who's who basically gets introduced to my grandmother who goes you're such a nice man I'd like to introduce you to my daughter who is right now with a child. Yeah And so he came and fell in love with Bobby Joe kind of liked you a little bit and said what I was pretty young At the time he didn't know yet. He hadn't heard you talk yet. So they they get they get married Yeah, so they get married so there's birth certificate number three now, I only know a birthday certificate number one Now looking back a la Fight Club style. I'm in their wedding photos I'm like almost two years old. Yeah, but I've never dawned on me. Why am I in these photos? Like you mean as a grown adult, you know, it never no. No, why would I? Never thought about it Wow So yeah, I have three birth certificates and I actually have Copies of no, do I have all three one? I have at least two of them. I have the first one and did you back to your Biological dad Who was only there for a short period of time is on your second birth certificate first He's on my first birth certificate. And as I was growing up, there were times that He would come by the house as you know a relative and to kind of check on me This is the one that your your mom this is my mom's cousin who was my biological father biological father the second one That was in there. Well, the first one's my biology father. The second was in there. We yeah, we don't look We don't talk about talk about that at all. No, and then you never tried to look him up anywhere I didn't know about I I guess it doesn't matter the same. I found out Something was off about four years at like 46 Uh-huh, and I held on to asking her about it for four years. What did you find out? what I was given a picture at my at her father's funeral a Picture an actual print. It was a wedding photo And it wasn't my dad and it was your mom Uh-huh, and she was in a wedding photo with a groom that wasn't your dad Yeah, and so you held on to this for four years given to me by a relative which probably they shouldn't have done It wasn't their place to do it and I carried it in my backpack For four years my work backpack and that travels with me everywhere So I'd go out and visit for vacation my work backpack comes with me because you never know It literally in a manila envelope for four years. I carried this photo. How old were you in the picture? I wasn't it's my mom It's a wedding day photo, but not my dad So, did you Show that to her and say what's up with? Yeah, that's what yeah I don't want to go into too much detail on that part because that's her but when you show when you showed it Is that when she said I'll answer whatever whatever you ask me. Yeah And you said well What was your first dance? I don't know what we're course my questions were I yeah There was a bunch of them who exactly is we ended up and so I figure out who my biological father is and I said Hey, I'm I'm gonna message him on Facebook. Are you okay with that? She goes? Yeah, we'll do whatever you want I'm fine with that. So that's we had a I never did go visit him I had he lived two hours north of where my mom is this whole time Well, and I knew he was there and so I and he was starting to lose it a little bit. He had some issues and so we would Facebook back-and-forth message and stuff like that so I I started asking questions about my birth mother and you know names and things like that and I did some research and I Threw 23 and me I I do have some Cousins in Texas who were also adopted and have done the same work. So it's been a very interesting I'm sorry, cuz I got lost. Did you did you reach out to her to who to your biological past? She was already passed. She had passed. Did you share that or did I miss it? No, I don't think okay He was still alive and remarried and she she had already passed and then I realized I had a half-sister in Southern, California In Palm Springs that I'm now I communicate with and who I've never seen face-to-face I just haven't had the chance to and I know we've only got a couple of minutes. Yeah, so I wanna I want I Want to ask a couple of questions on the real human side of this whole thing, which is I? Get it from your point of view with a great relationship with your mom Bobby Joe that That this is something that becomes hey, I've just got some other stuff out there I just want to know about it and talk about it and check into it That's all it doesn't change anything about you and your mama but most I think I think more people who are adopted are trying to find that out because they whatever They're their upbringing didn't work and they're trying to figure out who is my real parent I need I want to have that connect and walk that around town. That's not what I was doing I probably could have gone my whole life not knowing and I would have been totally fine But I mean I'm inquisitive because of health and some other things and but in a cool way You you are blood relative to your mom. I am I mean, that's absolutely related to my That's my blood. That's what I mean. I don't want to take it and the rest of that loony side of my family Yeah, yeah, you've got it in you That's part of not surprising at all why I'm in this business So let me ask you a question does it feel like a burden knowing all of this? Does it feel like you are granted a gift or gifts plural that other people don't I won the lottery In what way And I was tough man I Wait, are we out of time? Oh good Why don't we uh, why don't we use that as the I had the greatest upbringing? Yeah, I Certainly I certainly know how you feel about about that I was very very lucky W and I have talked about so many times the kind of yeah upbringing that I had It's a fabulous life I have I just don't have as many twists turns and interesting points as you do Oh, there's there's plenty more that'll you know, we all talked about but you know, I I I hit the lottery Amazing and I don't know we got a role. So we're gonna roll on that I what I want to say on the human side of this thing is the way that you've anybody could look at any piece of Woe is me. It's a very very difficult thing for whatever For whatever kind of a reason it is, but you don't look at it that way. I think you feel that it's a that is in its way its own blessing, so thank you Tom Bowman big gender and Here at the staff at Truman's Bar and Grill. Can we bring some Kleenexes over here for this? Cried in Truman's like three times Those other times were really rough we will We will what what time do I have? I got like I got like two minutes over here as we as I finish this up I needed to make sure we get this don't forget next week We're gonna be on the beaches of st. John and so you and I are gonna be out there with a podcast one week from today and that brings us to our point at which we need to get to Keep your eye on the crap brought to you by family Focus I care keeping your eye on the crap they take care of my eyes, and they have for several years now And I greatly appreciate dr. Rich and everything they're doing oh and Deb also My face and what they're doing with the laser therapy over here at Rituva. It's amazing and thank you. Thank you Thank you for helping me out. Do you want to go in there and go over the laser any time? I want to ask about all of their treatments, but you look so much younger than I do no I just want to look like I belong with you when we're in st. John You're gonna be gorgeous out there on the beach. You're gonna be Keep your eye on the crap here we go when you hear people talk about the mayor of Columbia Visiting at the US Conference of Mayors in Florida this week, which I think she's probably back today Not really sure when you hear that going on and you think what are they spending on this I get it I've seen people post about that and talk about I'll see somebody on the golf course this week They'll be yeah mayors. I know we're spending the mayor now going to another conference look. I get it I get it is it doing any good for this city? Generally speaking I would say no I'm not gonna go there And you hear about the City Council going to Lake of the Ozarks for this little retreat weekend They had I spent like thirty five thousand dollars, and you get focused on those dollars You're focused on the money and saying hey What are we spending this money on what's gonna do you need to keep your eye on the crap? Keep your eye on the crap the craps not the money out of a budget of five hundred sixty plus million dollars annually with the City of Columbia 35,000 for the City Council and city staffs to go down to the lake for a couple of days. It's nothing Here's what you need to keep your eye on the City Council Hanging out with the city staff like a team-building thing. Let's understand each other a little bit better That's not the goal here people your job is to be Demanding not to be friends with the city staff to understand what the city staff is doing yes Your job is not to be friends with them Tom. That's very harsh Yeah, it is life is harsh bitches because here's the reality your job is to be friends With us your constituents know what we're going through care about us How big is the city staff too big some of them need to be let go Tom that's mean yeah, well, I'll tell you something man. I'm just a mean son of a bitch I guess that's the way that it goes I don't know what else I can tell you except that it is time for us to skedaddle this podcast so On that note what I got 30 seconds if even I got a bail I got a bail my friends live this day as if it were your last see you next week from St.. John until then hookah, hey